Harry Potter and other epic things

shouldnt:

We’ve officially reached that annoying time of year where it’s sweater weather in the morning, but by midday you die from a heatstroke.

I have finally found a solution to this apocalyptic problem… don’t leave the house. It seams to be working for me but I have also started talking to myself, so that’s happening.

simplypurkey:

jazzumon:

destielkills:

auntiesnixshipper:

awkwardteenagenerves:

discard-and-discover:

evolve-within:

disregardwomen:

When my mom’s out in public, she sends me pictures of lesbians she sees.

Jesus I envy that relationship. 

this is like the time when my mum took me bra shopping and the girl measuring me up was a lesbian and my mum said to me “i’ll go take a walk around the shop so you can talk to this nice young girl” and gave me a look as if to say “chat her up”. 

My mum tries to push me towards cute possibly gay girls and then disappears. She did it in Primark once and I found her hiding behind a pile of knickers, watching me.

i love all of your moms

When I was 17 I was convinced I was in love with the check out girl at the grocery store 5 minutes away from our house, so my dad went to get milk and somehow found an appropriate point in the conversation while buying a half gallon of milk to give her my number. Three days later she called me and asked if I wanted to come over “to watch a movie” and long story short my dad got me laid thanks dad.


That last story is worth reblogging


This is all I want.

simplypurkey:

jazzumon:

destielkills:

auntiesnixshipper:

awkwardteenagenerves:

discard-and-discover:

evolve-within:

disregardwomen:

When my mom’s out in public, she sends me pictures of lesbians she sees.

Jesus I envy that relationship. 

this is like the time when my mum took me bra shopping and the girl measuring me up was a lesbian and my mum said to me “i’ll go take a walk around the shop so you can talk to this nice young girl” and gave me a look as if to say “chat her up”. 

My mum tries to push me towards cute possibly gay girls and then disappears. She did it in Primark once and I found her hiding behind a pile of knickers, watching me.

i love all of your moms

When I was 17 I was convinced I was in love with the check out girl at the grocery store 5 minutes away from our house, so my dad went to get milk and somehow found an appropriate point in the conversation while buying a half gallon of milk to give her my number. Three days later she called me and asked if I wanted to come over “to watch a movie” and long story short my dad got me laid thanks dad.

That last story is worth reblogging

This is all I want.

He’s really freaking me out.

I think I have an actual stalker and it’s making me too scared to sleep. My bedroom has a door that leads outside and it’s fucking terrifying. I’m also really mad that someone is making me feel this way.

darning-socks:

"Why are you crying?"

"I just— love reading s-so much—"

This is all I want right now.

sugar-soul:

I want to believe it’s all the same guy


Such a sad ending to such a colorful life.

sugar-soul:

I want to believe it’s all the same guy

Such a sad ending to such a colorful life.

abulletforniki:

powerofvoodoo:

well this is rEALLY CUTE.

IT’S THE CUTEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN.

Is this blood or am I watching too much criminal minds?

Is this blood or am I watching too much criminal minds?

My mom gets me in ways nobody else does but she also doesn’t get me in ways that most people do.